Shen and I had a conversation about death last Friday as SARS is epidemically prevailing in a dramatic speed,which has caused many victims' lives.
"Are you afraid of SARS and concomitant death?"
Shen:"I don't want to die alone.Think if I would unfortunately be infected with SARS I would be forced to isolate with my parents, my relatives and my friends and would be confined in the hospital.No one would come to talk to me or even to see me there even though they might want to.I don't want that.What about you?Are you afraid of SARS and death?"
"No,honestly I don't.Sometimes I wish I could be that lucky to be kissed by SARS and let it take my life away with tremendous generosity and gratitude,thus I would totally release from all worries,unhappiness and disappointment and give up all desires and expectations in my life and enjoy a state of nirvana."
Shen:"Don't you think it selfish and irresponsible to have this in mind?"
"No.I don't think so.I would blame myself for my selfishness and irresponsibility if I initially commit suicide to satisfy my desire for personal release.No matter what I didn't and don't.The fact is that SARS may find me and the god of death may come to my door at any time now,which is just what I am longing and waiting for,thus I could die and wouldn't be blamed for so-called selfishness and irresponsibility.Well, you may regard what I said as an excuse for myself."
Silence...
