Having met with J and idolizing him as my Mr. Right is something like looking for that man not particularly for me by knocking at the wrong door. No one should be blamed for the fact and I shouldn¡¯t be frustrated by the fact which I am not able to change at all but to learn to accept. It would be wise for me to recollect my courage to seek my right man and be ready to enjoy any love shines on me. Also, it is forgivable that even Cupid sometimes got wrong target to shoot an arrow. Even though I got wrong person to have fallen in love with, I should thank God for having me come across with J, for after all he lightens my life in some way.

I love poetry and love writing poems. I've written several in Chinese but never in English. Honestly, I never learnt how to write a poem in English but I would like to think this one as a poem produced in English for the first time.

I Wish

I wish
To be born as a bird,
In my next lifetime instead
Of being human,
So that I could,
Stretch my wings to fly,
To kiss the sky,
To play with the clouds and
To dance with the wind.

And I wish
There would be a hunter,
Aiming at me with a shooter,
To end up my life by
Shooting me down from the sky!

I always feel that I am so lucky to be introduced to TIG and have joined this community where I can express myself,voice my thoughts and feelings and have them read.Those comments about my updates are really helpful to me which broaden my horizen and provide me with fresh perspectives of looking at the world.

World sometimes disappoints us in some way¡ªconflicts,wars,starvation,disease,flood and so such alike.Despite all of this,we are still optimisticly anticipating that moment to come when people of all over the world live peacefully,harmoniously an prosperously.

Is it a tendency that the relationship between people is becoming more and more fragile?What I mean is that lovers who have been in love with each other for long could break up some day,couples who have engaged in marriage for years could divorce some day,and even friends who have lived together for a long time could split up some day.

I think there are some reasons that lead to the end of these relationships.One is that they may not be able to share the same point of view on a particular matter and both of them may intend to,without conscious awareness,impose his/her opinion upon the other one and are not ready to share or appreciate different point of views.The other is that as time goes by,they gradually are not willing to engage some activities together because of lack of interest,and they may find they are unable to put up with some way of life of their partner.And the third one is that they find their expectations that they posed on each other cannot be filfulled,which casts estrangement on their feelings about each other and finally lead to breaking up.

All this makes me doubt that if there is,except kinship,a steady relationship in the world.It seems that we can fall in love with someone,we can marry with someone and we can establish a friendship with someone,but at same time we've got to prepare ourselves in advance to accept the fact calmly that these relationships might crash some time for some reason in the future,thus we would not feel so upset or regrettable.

Yeah,it's true that for some relationship it is better to end it up early when the "crisis" arises rather than keep it until it becomes emotional burden to torture each other.Well...but neverthless I wish people could try their best to maintain a longlasting relationship with their lover,their spouse,their friend or whoever with whom they decide to establish a relationship by providing more understanding and appreciation to each other.

I wonder if everyone has some uncertainties in his/her life.At least I do.Now an uncertainty is facing to me is that if,this month,I'll be paid as much as I was promised when interviewed now that three-month probation has been over by the end of May and I am now formally employed.To make it clear,just now I consulted towards personnel department and was told that there would be no difference in the amount of salary after probation.Hearing that I was a little shocked.Doesn't Chinese Labor Law work here? Has the company been paying its employees at will so far?GOSH!My heart is sinking and sinking...

I care my salary.I'm in need of money to pay for my post graduate class for people at work.It'll cost me about 20,000 RMB.It is not an astronomical amount of money of course,yet it is still a BIG amount to me.Honestly,I feel less passion for what I'm doing at work--no use of English,the language that I love and have been studying for years.However I can't give it up recklessly as I did because of the difficulty of hunting jobs during the epidemic period of SARS.Besides,it does provide me with time to do self-study and that is why I "pinned" myself on this job,on which I projected my hope of the investment of my further education.Being told that I would be paid as much as I was in probation,I felt disappointed,deceived and that the gap between my dream and the reality was farther widened abruptly though I've been learning to make peace with the gap.

Uncertainty...I wonder if everyone has some uncertainties in his/her life.What does s/he feel or do when faced with uncertainties?...